I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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