apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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