a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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