Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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