So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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