Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Randomize
