u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize