Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
