I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
