I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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