I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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