i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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