do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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