Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
