My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
