Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
