I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
