Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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