I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
