Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
