They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
