She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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