did you get engaged???
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
