Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
