hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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