I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
