YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
