with your own penis?
i love accidental penises.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
