he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
