i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
