between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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