Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Four minutes until I can fart!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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