He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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