Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
