Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
