drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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