Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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