my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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