Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize