The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
