watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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