I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I AM VODKA MAN
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
