she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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