i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
