I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She said her name was "party"
I seem to have left my pride at pride
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
