Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
