we're blogging at a bar
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Houston, we have a blender
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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