id be glad to
Duck Duck Cougar?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
