He disabled his match.com account in front of me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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