If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
