either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
