nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
