Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
