Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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