Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
